Mental Load Calculator
See who really carries the planning and remembering in your home — the invisible work that never shows up on a chore chart.
Most couples argue about chores. The deeper imbalance is usually the mental load — the noticing, planning, remembering, and deciding that happens before anyone picks up a mop. It is real work, and because it is invisible, it rarely gets counted or shared.
This goes one question at a time, so you can think about each without a wall of text staring back. For each responsibility you will say who usually does it — and, separately, whether you are the one who has to remember or plan it. That second part is the mental load, and it is where the imbalance usually hides.
Ready when you are
16 short questions, one at a time. For each, you will say who does it — and whether you are the one who has to remember it. There are no wrong answers, and you can go back anytime.
Common questions
How this tool works, and what happens to your answers.
The mental load is the cognitive work of running a household: anticipating needs, remembering dates, tracking supplies, planning ahead, and deciding who does what. It is separate from the physical chore. Buying groceries is a chore; noticing you are almost out of milk, keeping the running list, and planning the week's meals is the mental load.
Seeing the imbalance is step one. HerWay is step two.
Once you have named what needs to change, HerWay helps you agree on who does what — and makes the agreement actually stick. Get started with your first shared agreement.